The Man is a Pirate

Sometimes the man and the woman ignore the dangers of the outside and wonder beyond the protection of the Warrior Pit-bull Fighting Team. When this happens the man acts as a traveling bodyguard for the woman, protecting her from ugly pit-bulls and horny BYU freshman.But a new threat has emerged; one so violent and unexpected that there was no time to react until it was too late. There was nothing the woman could do but stand there and watch as the man came under attack by this frightening new enemy.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrr...

The dodgeball. Now the man is a pirate.

The Warrior Pit-bull Fighting Team now has a new responsibility to protect the man against dodgeballs.  We is now called the Warrior Pit-bull Dodgeball Fighting Team, or the WPBDFT. The team, consisting of the batman and Beatty Cat as lookouts when they is not sleeping, the Poop Dog as the alarm, and the Chili Dog as the fast and furious muscle. Although non of the members of the WPBDFT know what a dodgeball is, including the batman, we is determined to protect the man and the woman from becoming even more piratier.

The batman thinks that the man actually wanted to become a pirate because of the new pirate movie which I is a fan of. But the man insists that he does not want to be a pirate. He says it is hard to ride the batmanmobile as a pirate because he cannot see if there are bad drivers coming at him from his left side. The man also says that it is hard to stay awake in calculus class because one eye is already closed.

And because the man feels real stupid about being a pirate, the batman will honor him by giving a list of pirates that were wicked cool like him.

The Captain Jack Sparrow

The first pirate is the batman's favorite, the Captain Jack Sparrow pirate. He is so cool they mades movies about him. Some the batman enjoyed, some I dids not. But the Captain Jack Sparrow pirate is so cool that someone on the internets has a picture of him tatooed on their human flesh. That means the Captain Jack Sparrow is awesome.

Another famous pirate is the Captain Blackbeard. The batman does not know much about him because he is not in 2 1/2 awesome movies like the Captain Jack Sparrow. But he must be cool because he has smoke coming out of his ears. How cool is that?  (6/21/11 - The batman has removed the Captain Blackbeard picture because it is drawing very strange people to the i is batman blog.)










The last cool pirate is known as the Captain Kid. This picture is proof of his coolness. In fact, because the batman now knows the meaning of Gay, I cans honestly say that the Captain Kid is very gay.

GAY
–adjective

1. having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music. 

 - The Captain Kid looks like a merry and lively pirate. Yes, he is gay.

2. bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments.

 - The Captain Kid is bright and showy. Yes, he is gay.

 

3. given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season.

 - Because he is mostly shirtless and very muscular, the batman says that this qualifies. Yes, he is gay.

 

EXPAND

4. licentious; dissipated; wanton: The baron is a gay old rogue with an eye for the ladies.

 - The batman looked up these words. Yes, he is definitely gay.

 

5. homosexual

- The batman looked this word up as well and does not know if the Captain Kid agrees with this lifestyle.   Maybe, he is gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.

6. of, indicating, or supporting homosexual  interests or issues: a gay organization.

 - Maybe he does and maybe he does not. The batman would have to ask him. Maybe, he is gay.

The batman's math says that 4 YESs beats out 2 MAYBEs. The Captain Kid is definitely gay.

So the man should be proud to be among the awesome pirates that have come before him. If they is in movies, have smoke coming out of their ears, or they is gay, the man is in good company. Though, the batman must admit that he thoughts these famous pirates would have eye patches like the man but they does not. Maybe the man is not a pirate. Maybe he is just silly looking.