Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Cone Dog (with a K)

Why eat your foot?

To kick off the exciting second season of the "i is batman blog" I has decided to rename the little dog, who always smells like poop and who is commonly referred to as the Eva dog. Till this point the batman has called her the Poop Dog because when she runs away from the house she always finds some poop to roll in and then rolls in it. And despite frequent attempts at bathing her, she always smells like poop. While the name is fitting for such a smelly beast, it makes some of the younger viewers of the "i is batman blog" semi-squeamish, and they also get confused because the batman refers to all dogs as Poop Dogs because they all smell like poop. Also, the Eva Dog, though not the most valuable member of the WPBDFT (Warrior Pit-bull Dodgeball Fighting Team) and definitively not the best smelling (which award goes to the Beatty Cat who always seems to smell like a mixture of freshly cut grass and fluffiness), feels like the batman is picking on her. I says that I is only being honest and that maybe if she stops attacking the batman and trying to lick his kitteh face off, the batman would be nicer to her in the "i is batman blog". In other words, the man and the woman is making me do this.


So, due to the Poop Dog's recent attempts to lick her own foot off, the man and the woman have felt the need to Cone her. The Cone, also known as the Cone of Shame (as made famous by the human movie "Up") has been placed around her neck and almost stops her from dismembering herself. They has also discovered that because of the cone the Poop Dog is no longer able to jump over or dig under fences and escape from the back yard area. Thus, the cone may remain on for her entire doggeh life. The batman feels this is a great idea and is campaigning to see it happen. 
Sad...


But, to show the Poop Dog a little more respect on the "i is batman blog", the batman has decided to call her the Cone Dog (with a K) instead. The man says it will make it look cooler spelled with a K instead of a C, like the band Korn, who is only famous because of the way they spell their name and not because they make good music. The batman wanted to call her Cone Doogy (a doggy play on words of Doogie Howser, the batman's most favoritest TV child doctor), but the man says it is stupid. So, from this point forward, the Poop Dog will hereby be known as the Cone Dog (with a K).


Though the Cone Dog (with a K) does not deserve the batman's respect, he will honor the wishes of the man and the women. The summer time is almost over and they keeps him warm during the winter time. The batman does like being cold more than he does not like the Cone Dog (with a K). So I will do what they says...for now.

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