The Elusive Demon Dog

 The batman has finally obtained photographic evidence of the elusive Demon dog. You can tell by its floppy ears and devilish eyes that it's dangerous and was sent by Satan to terrorize the man and the woman. So the batman keeps his distance. The man says that it is a nice poop dog and will not try to eat the woman like the stupid pit-bulls do. The Chili Dog and the Poop dog say that he is nice too and they like to run up and down the fence and play with it like stupid dogs. But the batman is not so sure. The floppy ears means it's dangerous. The batman is always cautious.

Being elusive.

I will eat you!

The Poop Dogs is Stupid

Seriously, just look at them.

Demon Dog

There is a new dog in town and it has glowing eyes like a demon. The batman thinks that it is a demon dog and we fears that the Demon dog is plotting with the Chopper dog (neighbors) to form an attack. It has also proven difficult to obtain a picture of the Demon dog but to the right is an accurate action figured portrayal of the said Demon. The Chili dog says that the Demon dog is a nice dog but the batman is not so sure. The batman also fears that the Chili dog is being seduced by the Demon and Chopper dogs to betray the man and woman. I cans not and wills not let this happen!

For now, the Demon dog is just a puppy ands may not be a real threat for many months. So I watches him closely and someday may obtain photographic evidence of his demoness.

In the meantime, the batman is still recovering from his swollen kitteh leg, which has gotten better without a visit to the evil pet doctor. I cans almost use it to walk again. The man had ordered the batman quarantined to the house until the kitteh leg gets better. Secretly the woman has been letting the batman outside while the man is not home. Shhhhhhh.... But the kitteh leg is better and the evil pet doctor cans eat it. But not literally, because I still needs it.

The batman worries that there are many evils that threaten the happiness of the man and the woman. The batman and the WPBDFT work tirelessly to protect them, but I wonders if it is enough. There are pit-bulls and demon dogs, dodgeballs and barriers, evil pet doctors and calculus; and all sorts of other destructive forces that are fighting to destroy the man and woman. The batman wonders if the WDBDFT is enough to protect them. We does what we can, but it seems that new threats and challenges appear every week and it is overwhelming. The batman worries for them because the WHOLE WORLD! is out to get them. But the man says that everything will be okay; that there is a Higher Force than the WPBDFT that watches over them. I asks the man if the Higher Force would like to join the WPBDFT, but the man says that the HF is already at the heart of it. I does not know what this means but I trust that the man knows what he is talking about. He is a very wise and brave human. And funny looking.

But I still worries for them.

The Warrior Pit-bull Dodgeball Tactical Espionage Kitteh Force (or WPBDTEKF for short)

Watching, ever vigilantly.

 Sacrifices must be made, and so it was on the first official mission of the Warrior Pit-bull Dodgeball Tactical Espionage Kitteh Force (or WPBDTEKF for short). The batman is a brave kitteh and does what he cans to protect the man and the woman from all things pit-bull and dodgeball. And so I was resting, sleeping off a long night of vigilant watchfulness while the man and woman slept. In the morning whilest they were preparing for another long day of low wages and hard labor, I heards a noise. I thoughts it was just the Beatty cat or the poop dogs running around in the downstairs. But the WPBDTEKF went to investigate. The batman started in the second bedroom but, after investigating the warm and comfy queen sized bed for about 20 minutes, decided there was no threat and moved on to he next room. The Beatty cat stood in the window under the half drawn blinds of the second room. He blinked and yawned, which is the sign for "no threat." But then I heards it again, from somewhere down the stairs. It had to have been a dodgeball or a pit-bull. Their noise of terror and stupidity is unmistakable! So the batman jumped into action!

I rans and jumped over the barrier that inhibits the poop dogs from entering the upstairs and eating from the poop box. But, the jump was poorly timed, and the the batman's leg hits the barrier. The pain is unbearable, but I keeps moving. The man lets me into the outdoors and watches me as I limp around. I cans not find the source of the noise. It is gone. I knows I heard it, and I knows it was there. I must have scared it away. But my little kitteh leg still hurts. I tells him there is not threat and he leaves.

I finds some grass to lay in. The cool morning dew soothes the aching limb. I falls asleep and does not know what happens next. I wakes up to finds the injured kitteh leg is swollen and cut. I does not know what happened. It must have been the barrier. But why would the barrier choose to strike out now? The barrier has never let the kittehs down and has always protected the kittehs from the slobbering poop dogs.

I loves them

Days has passed since and we has been watching the barrier for any more signs of rebellion. But it has remained an alley and continues diligently in its duties. In the meantime, the man has quarantined the batman until the kitteh leg has healed. He wants to take the batman to the animal doctor to make sure that it is okay. But I does not like the animal doctor. That is the last place the Warren went before he never returned. I wills keeps my distance.

There are many things to fear in this life: Pit-bulls, dodgeballs, barriers, animal doctors; but the batman must not be afraid and be strong. Kittehs does not have 9 lives. The cake is a lie. We only has one, just like the man and the woman and the poop dogs. And we must use it serving the ones we loves. The batman will continue to protect the man and the woman with all his heart. They is his man and woman, and he loves them.

The Mighty Hunter and the Beatty Spy

The Mighty Hunter

Since the batman was a little kitteh, I has been a mighty hunter. From the early moments of life when the Mother Hope taught us to hunt and attack the carpet, to the present when I hunt and "think about" attacking the dangerous pit-bull. But this new threat, that of the dodgeball, calls for drastic measures. Although the batman remains a most vital component of the Warrior Pit-Bull Dodgeball Fighting Team, I has decided to form a special elite unit which will focus on the eradication of dodgeballs. In the winter months, the batman and the Beatty cat work effectiviely as watch-outs from the comfort of warm beds within the house. But in the summer months we finds it vital to be on the offensive. This new elite unit is yet to has a name. The batman is open to suggestions.

You're doing it wrong

As a sidekick the batman has selected the Beatty cat. I is currently teaching him how to drive the batmanmobile, but he is doing it wrong. The Beatty cat is very good with computers and he excels at Excel, but he is not a driver. So maybe the elite team will consist of only the batman, or maybe I wills sends out the Beatty cat on intelligence missions, like a spy. Beatty cat would be a good spy. Though he is a ascared of everything, he is sneaky. And if discovered, he is very good at running away. He may be fat and he may be fluffy, but he is very sneaky. The batman has taught him everything he knows. The Beatty cat has also learned how to be good with the lady kittehs, just like the James Bond. Maybe he can use his fluffy charm to obtain information from the lady kittehs about possible dodgeball invasions. That is how the James Bond does it. The Beatty cat is a very useful kitteh. He makes a goods spy.