Songs About Rainbows

The batman was exploring the outsides the other day when I comes across a giant frog. Okay, no frogs actually live in the Land of Dryness but he said he was passing through on his way west to a land of sin, corruption, and bankruptcy. The frog was very big (for a frog) and carried around a stringed device that emits music when strummed. The man has a few of these devices and is not very good at using them. The Beatty cat runs away when the man starts strumming. But this frog starts talking to the batman in a weird melodic voice and  asks...

This is a rainbow

"Why are there so many songs about rainbows? What's on the other side?"

This gets the batman thinking that I does not know what a song it cuz I is a cat. Suddenly I realize that I am talking to a mutant frog and run away. So, later, I asks and says to the man, "Meow," and he says, "I can think of just two. One from the Wizard of Oz and the other from the Muppet Movie." The man asks the batman why I asks and I says, "Meow," and he explains that a rainbow is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that cause a spectrum of light to appear in the sky when the Sun shines on to droplets of moisture in the Earth's atmosphere. Thus anything can be at the end of a rainbow. I says, "Meow," again and then the man gives me food and I eat lunch.

I never did sees the giant mutant frog again. He may have been eaten by the ugly pit-bull next door. The batman does not know. I does not know if the ugly pit-bull likes to eat frogs. I does kind of wonder what frog tastes like, though, because someday the batman may chose to eat one. Or maybes I can trick the Cone Dog (with a K) to eat one, and then she would poop green. If the mutant frog ever comes back I cans tells him that there are only two songs about rainbows and that he should stop complaining about there being so many. If it was up to the batman, there would be a lot more songs about rainbows because the batman likes rainbows. If Chuck Norris was a rainbow, and your house was on the other side, it would probably burn down.

I hope the frog survived his journey west.

New Names and How to Outsmart a Cunning Terrier

In the wake of recent events, I has decided to change the names of both of the Poop Dogs. The little one - formally known as The Poop Dog - was renamed Cone Dog (with a K) in last week's episode. The big dog - formally known as Chili Dog - has hearby been renamed Puke Dog. 

The batman will now explain.

Okay, so maybe the batman does not want to explain because it is a little too gross for the many kitteh readers out there. Just know that the gruesome tail involves the big dog, vomit, and the man's bare feet. Story over.

In other news, despite the cone of shame the Cone Dog (with a K) has learned how to escape the back yard area. The man thoughts it was impossible, but the Cone Dog (with a K) has out smarted him...for now. The man is very smart too and just as determined, though he has better things to do than plot ways to stop the poop dog from digging under fences. The batman suggested locking her in a cage with the Beatty cat for an entire day. The Beatty cat is obviously opposed to this method of discipline and warns against its ineffectiveness. The batman thinks the results would be hilarious. I asked the Puke Dog what he thought about this and he just sniffed my face and then jumped around by the door for 10 minutes while the man made lunch. 

The batman is now hungry. The Beatty cat and I wills go catch birds before they flies away for the winter time months. 

Cone Dog (with a K)

Why eat your foot?

To kick off the exciting second season of the "i is batman blog" I has decided to rename the little dog, who always smells like poop and who is commonly referred to as the Eva dog. Till this point the batman has called her the Poop Dog because when she runs away from the house she always finds some poop to roll in and then rolls in it. And despite frequent attempts at bathing her, she always smells like poop. While the name is fitting for such a smelly beast, it makes some of the younger viewers of the "i is batman blog" semi-squeamish, and they also get confused because the batman refers to all dogs as Poop Dogs because they all smell like poop. Also, the Eva Dog, though not the most valuable member of the WPBDFT (Warrior Pit-bull Dodgeball Fighting Team) and definitively not the best smelling (which award goes to the Beatty Cat who always seems to smell like a mixture of freshly cut grass and fluffiness), feels like the batman is picking on her. I says that I is only being honest and that maybe if she stops attacking the batman and trying to lick his kitteh face off, the batman would be nicer to her in the "i is batman blog". In other words, the man and the woman is making me do this.


So, due to the Poop Dog's recent attempts to lick her own foot off, the man and the woman have felt the need to Cone her. The Cone, also known as the Cone of Shame (as made famous by the human movie "Up") has been placed around her neck and almost stops her from dismembering herself. They has also discovered that because of the cone the Poop Dog is no longer able to jump over or dig under fences and escape from the back yard area. Thus, the cone may remain on for her entire doggeh life. The batman feels this is a great idea and is campaigning to see it happen. 

Sad...

But, to show the Poop Dog a little more respect on the "i is batman blog", the batman has decided to call her the Cone Dog (with a K) instead. The man says it will make it look cooler spelled with a K instead of a C, like the band Korn, who is only famous because of the way they spell their name and not because they make good music. The batman wanted to call her Cone Doogy (a doggy play on words of Doogie Howser, the batman's most favoritest TV child doctor), but the man says it is stupid. So, from this point forward, the Poop Dog will hereby be known as the Cone Dog (with a K).


Though the Cone Dog (with a K) does not deserve the batman's respect, he will honor the wishes of the man and the women. The summer time is almost over and they keeps him warm during the winter time. The batman does like being cold more than he does not like the Cone Dog (with a K). So I will do what they says...for now.

Under Construction: the sequal

The new i is batman blog is still under construction in preparation for its second amazing season. To start, the batman has changed the layout and added a handsome picture of the batman when I was a kitteh as the header picture. What does you think? Good? No good?

What could make this better?

And the batman was going to add more photos of him as a kitteh but the stupid blogspot is being stupid. The awesomeness apparently overloads the systems.

Under Construction

 As many of you loyal followers have noticed I has taken the summer off from the blog. It is too nice outside to waste my time entertaining you. But as the cold fall and winter months approach, I has decided to spend a little time making the blog way awesomer. In the meantime, enjoy these two photos.

The Poop Dog deserved it.

Only in the Maine...